


Beautiful Moment

by Whovian13



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Boo Seungkwan is beautiful, First Kiss, Getting Together, Idols, Love Confessions, M/M, but is bad at feelings, just the tiniest appearance by Woozi and Jeonghan, mingyu is in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:55:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23190505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whovian13/pseuds/Whovian13
Summary: After an odd encounter offstage, Seungkwan worries that Mingyu is pulling away from him.
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Kim Mingyu
Comments: 18
Kudos: 124





	Beautiful Moment

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't given up on my verkwan fic, but I've been having some major boogyu feels and I had to get them out!
> 
> Also thanks to Kelly for helping me so much with this and cooing over boogyu with me!

For Seungkwan, singing onstage was starlight. It was wonder and beauty and a vastness that he never felt anywhere else. With his voice he could share so much, touch the hearts of his audience. Bind them all together under the same spell. He could be magic.

He loved performing with the twelve other members during group numbers. Of course he did, but that was an entirely different experience than singing solo. Standing alone under a spotlight and filling a space with just his voice felt like the warmest hug, the most perfect human connection. He could feel his soul expanding, feel the audience reaching out to meet him, heart to heart.

He didn’t sing solo songs often, especially in front of a live audience. So when he had the chance to do it, and with a song like “Beautiful Moment,” he savored the feeling. Expressing his love for the people in his life--his family, his members, and carats--filled him with such peace.

Once he had finished the song and bowed deeply to the applause that followed, this feeling of elation carried him off the stage as if he was floating. In the wing where the performance team was filing on to take his place, he gripped Dino’s shoulder in encouragement and then almost ran into the towering figure of Mingyu, who was standing stock still in the shadows. 

Mingyu gripped his shoulders to steady him as Seungkwan gasped in surprise.

“You scared me!” he whispered harshly, pressing a palm to Mingyu’s chest. He was still feeling a little floaty from his performance, and it felt nice to ground himself against a sturdy presence.

“I didn’t mean to,” Mingyu replied, bending to speak quietly into Seungkwan’s ear. “I was just waiting for you to come offstage.” 

Seungkwan looked up at him, fright forgotten. “Did you watch me perform?” He beamed. “What did you think?”

In the dim light, Mingyu’s eyes got round and sincere. “Beautiful,” he murmured, a strange look on his face. 

Seungkwan sighed blissfully. “Ah, yes, that song is just so meaningful. I’m glad I finally got to perform it live for carats.”

Mingyu shook his head, then leaned down until his forehead almost touched Seungkwan’s.

“No,” he breathed out, and his hands slid ever so gently up Seugkwan’s shoulders and neck until large, warm palms framed his face. “I meant you--” His fingertips danced along Seungkwan’s cheekbones, barely perceptible touches that preserved his makeup but sent shivers across his skin. “You were beautiful,” he finished, and their faces were so close together Seungkwan had to close his eyes to keep from getting dizzy. 

Then the hands were gone, and he looked up to see Mingyu taking several steps backward. Mingyu’s face was pale in the darkness, but maybe that was just his stage makeup. His eyes shifted to the curtains and equipment around them, anywhere but Seungkwan’s face.

“Anyway, it was a great performance. I have to--to--go get ready for my unit song, I’ll just…” and his voice faded as he disappeared into the shadows, and Seungkwan was left standing alone.

* * *

Seungkwan didn’t know what was going on, but he knew that he missed Mingyu.

After their final bows that night, they had crowded into the vans and headed home. Instead of sitting in the back next to Mingyu, nestled sleepily into his side as usual, Seungkwan had found himself with Woozi snoring against his shoulder while Mingyu was in another van entirely. Seungkwan was always the snuggler, the leaner. That night he was the leanee, and he found he didn’t like it quite as much.

When they got back to the dorm, Seungkwan showered and made his way to bed. He purposely stalled, hoping for a chance to tell Mingyu goodnight, to see if anything was wrong after his weird behavior in the wings since they hadn’t spoken a word to each other the rest of the night. But they never passed each other in the hall, and when Seungkwan peeked into Mingyu’s room, he found a silent Mingyu-sized lump cocooned under his blankets in the dark.

That was three days ago. Since then, they’d had only a few quick group appearances. The rest of their time had been spent getting ready for their Japanese promotions. They were flying to Osaka tomorrow, and aside from packing (which they all had down to a science at this point), their waking hours were spent on hair, makeup, and wardrobe consultations, company meetings, and the occasional selfie for the fancafe. 

Somehow, Seungkwan and Mingyu never seemed to be in the same room for more than a few awkward minutes at a time. 

Seungkwan wanted to think this was all in his head. That it was just a coincidence that Mingyu hadn’t looked him in the eyes since that night backstage. That their text thread--which was previously a constant back-and-forth of nonsense and (in their personal opinions) dry wit of the highest caliber--had stalled, only four messages in the last three days, all from Seungkwan, all unread.

They had always been close. They had the same sense of humor, the same self-deprecating desire for the spotlight, the same tendency toward slapstick comedy, the same need for physical affection. In the last year or so, their bond had grown even stronger, and Seungkwan had gotten used to Mingyu as a constant presence. He could always go to Mingyu for a hug or a cuddle when he was feeling touch-starved. He could always count on him for encouragement when he was working on a new impression or comedy sketch. He could always look forward to warm, shining eyes and giddy applause when Mingyu was particularly impressed with his girl group dance covers.

And they talked about hard things too. Mingyu understood better than anyone the pressure Seungkwan felt to exercise and improve his physique. They had stayed up all night once, recalling the most maddening, unsolicited critiques on their bodies, their faces, their bone structure. They told each other that they were both beautiful on the inside, and that their outside visuals were just a bonus. Mingyu listened to Seungkwan talk about his mom, and told stories of growing up with his little sister.

It had been months since Seungkwan had gone more than twenty-four hours without at least a text from Mingyu, even if it was just some silly meme or a sleepy face emoji, and now Seungkwan felt bereft. He didn’t even know if there really was something wrong, or if he was just imagining it. But that same itch under his skin that made him reach for a warm hand or crawl into bed to snuggle one of his hyungs told him that it was his fault.

* * *

On the short flight to Osaka, Mingyu was apparently so engrossed in watching the game Wonwoo was playing on his phone that he couldn’t even spare a glance at Seungkwan, and as soon as they’d freshened up upon landing, they were off to their first interview of the week.

The interview was all wrong. Seungkwan was standing behind a seated Mingyu--even the Japanese producer knew they usually had great chemistry together--but Mingyu never once turned to look at Seungkwan. The few times Seungkwan rested his hands on Mingyu’s shoulders, he tensed almost visibly, so Seungkwan gave up in fear of making the filming even more uncomfortable for the both of them.

Then, there came the Q & A.

**Who’s the funniest member?** _ Dokyeom  _

**_Who’s the healthiest eater?_ ** _ The8  _

**Who plays the most practical jokes?** _ Joshua _

**Who is the most affectionate?** _ Seungkwan _

And then Jeonghan, the little shit, just had to add: 

_ Seungkwan and Mingyu are always touching and hugging each other, it’s so sweet!  _ with his little mischievous giggle.

**_Oh, really? Seungkwan, is Mingyu your favorite member to hug?_ **

And Seungkwan, because he couldn’t help himself when given a microphone, smiled sweetly.

_ Oh, I love all my members, but you know Mingyu-hyung is like a puppy. He needs attention or he’ll chew up your slippers, so I try to humor him... _

...with an indulgent pat on the head in front of him.

Everyone laughed, the interview finished up, and they headed to their hotel to change for dinner.

* * *

As Seungkwan approached Mingyu’s hotel room, he noted the Do Not Disturb sign on the door handle.

He ignored it.

He already knew Mingyu didn’t want to talk to him, and he had decided that was just too bad. He still didn’t know what he had done to piss him off in the first place. That night in the wings had been a gyro drop of emotions. The high of singing, that heartfelt connection with the fans. Then the solid strength of Mingyu’s body, his warm hands, his gentle fingertips. His face just inches away, sincere eyes and deep voice.

Then an empty space.

What should Seungkwan have done differently? He had been overwhelmed, basking in his performance high and Mingyu’s closeness. And Mingyu had called him  _ beautiful _ .

Not the song, him.

He had closed his eyes, wanting to preserve the feeling. But when he opened them, Mingyu was leaving. 

Mingyu was weird.

He and Mingyu had never been weird before. They had always been  _ good _ . Comfortable. Warm.

Now he wondered if he did something to mess it up. Mingyu acted as if being so close made him uncomfortable, but why would that be an issue? The two of them were always touching foreheads or booping noses. Seungkwan had a penchant for giving kisses on the cheek, and both of them were downright clingy by nature.

Seungkwan knew Mingyu’s skin almost better than his own.

Whatever Mingyu had seen in that split second after Seungkwan closed his eyes had freaked him out, and Seungkwan needed answers.

He also needed to apologize. Normally his comment about Mingyu being a puppy wouldn’t have truly hurt his feelings, but obviously this was not a normal situation. 

After the interview, Mingyu said he needed some rest and told the others to go to dinner without him, then almost sprinted to the safety of his room. Seungkwan had planned to go to dinner, but at the last minute he told them he wanted to stay behind and check on Mingyu.

Now he was standing in the hall of the hotel in his pajamas, staring at that stupid Do Not Disturb sign like it was a personal challenge.

Taking a deep breath, he knocked firmly on the door, then pressed his ear against it to listen.

At first there was silence, but then he heard a quiet groan and the shuffling of feet on carpet before the door in front of him swung slowly open.

Straightening quickly from his eavesdropping posture, Seungkwan looked up to see Mingyu, dressed in a white undershirt and track pants, rubbing a hand wearily over his face.

“Nan desu ka?” he sighed out, and Seungkwan was endeared that his friend, tired and grumpy, still remembered the Japanese greeting they had learned. However, when Mingyu’s eyes fell on Seungkwan instead of a hotel staff member, his face changed and he took a step back.

“You’re supposed to be at dinner,” he mumbled, turning his back to retreat into the room. Since he didn’t close the door, Seungkwan took that as his invitation inside.

“I wanted to check on you.” His voice was quiet, solicitous but not timid. “We haven’t talked for awhile, and you seem--”

“I’m fine,” Mingyu cut him off, harsher than Seungkwan was used to hearing him speak. He was already all the way across the room, looking out the window onto the city below, and Seungkwan felt very far away from him. In the face of the tense silence, Seungkwan sighed and sank down onto the end of the bed nearest the door, his hands in his lap.

“You’re obviously not fine, hyung,” he grumbled, rolling his eyes. “We haven’t spoken for days. You won’t even answer my texts, let alone be in the same room with me.” There was no response, so Seungkwan kept talking.

“And you know what? I’m not fine either.” He slapped his palm onto the mattress for emphasis, then curled his fist into the comforter as words spilled from his mouth. “I  _ miss _ you, and I don’t know what I did. Why don’t you want to talk to me? Even  _ look _ at me? It’s dumb, I guess. It hasn’t even been a week, and I’m going nuts wondering if you’re eating well, if you’ve talked to your sister, if you’re getting enough sleep.”

He sniffed, and he didn’t know when his eyes had started tearing up. “And I’m sorry for my dumb comment today. Obviously I didn’t mean it. We joke like that all the time for these shows. But I knew you were already pissed at me, so I should have just kept my mouth shut.” He paused, taking a deep breath when he felt the tears spill onto his cheeks. “I would never,  _ never  _ think it was worth hurting you just for views on some entertainment show--”

Suddenly Mingyu was in front of him, kneeling at his feet with his hands covering each of Seungkwan’s on the bed. Seungkwan raised his head to see big, worried eyes shining up at him. Mingyu’s low voice was even rougher than usual as he interrupted Seungkwan.

“No, no, Seungkwan-ah,” he murmured urgently, “don’t cry, no.” One hand continued its soothing caress over Seungkwan’s wrist and up his forearm while the other came up to wipe the tears from his face. “I’m not mad at you, I was never mad at you. Don’t cry, please.”

Seungkwan sniffled, breath catching as he was suddenly overwhelmed with Mingyu’s closeness. “You’re not?”

Mingyu lowered his head, hiding his face in Seungkwan’s lap. His hand fell to fiddle with the sleeve of Seungkwan’s pajama top.

“No, I was--” He sighed out a deep breath. “I was mad at myself.” He looked up fleetingly at Seungkwan’s face before closing his eyes with a pained expression. “I almost kissed you.”

Seungkwan stared. “What?” He thought he would remember that happening.

Mingyu sat back on his heels and rested his hands in his lap with his head bowed, and Seungkwan missed the warmth of his body and his gaze.

“After your solo. I was touching your face, and you were glowing, like actually glowing. When you closed your eyes, I leaned down, I was so close. I couldn’t stop myself.” 

“Why,” Seungkwan started, then cleared his throat. “Why didn’t you?”

Mingyu looked up again, a wry smile on his face. “It was just a lighting cue. I could see the stage lights change behind you, and it reminded me where I was.” His eyes softened. “Seungkwan, I’m so sorry. All this time I’ve been worried about hurting our friendship by revealing my feelings. Then I lost control so I stayed away, trying to--I don’t know. Stop...feeling? I thought I could be just your friend.” He trailed off, then rose up on his knees again and grabbed Seungkwan’s hands.

“And I can, I promise I can,” he hurried out. “If you can just forgive me for trying to kiss you that night and for being such a jerk ever since, I swear I won’t do anything like that again. I don’t ever want to hurt you, Seungkwan-ah.” He finished with an emphatic squeeze of his hands, and Seungkwan felt a lump form in his throat.

This was...a lot. All week, he’d been missing Mingyu. He’d felt sick with the thought of losing him. He’d been replaying that moment in the wings over and over, trying to reconcile the closeness and peace he’d felt in Mingyu’s arms with the prospect of never having that feeling again. 

It was impossible. He couldn’t imagine a world without Mingyu. 

But a world  _ with  _ Mingyu? 

It was surprisingly easy to picture being with Mingyu. Loving Mingyu. He had always loved Mingyu, after all. As his friend, his hyung. As his bandmate and roommate, as the person who understood him, who made him feel safe. To Seungkwan, Mingyu was warmth and happiness and, well, love.

Seungkwan had never been in a romantic relationship. Never kissed anyone. His adolescence was a unique and insular experience specific to his profession, and he had never regretted his path in life. Yes, he had missed out on many of the milestones and relationships common to his peers, but he had traded them for joys and bonds that exceeded his wildest dreams.

And this man, his partner in this intense and singular life, his match and complement in so many ways, was  _ in love _ with Seungkwan? Wanted to kiss him?

Seungkwan looked down at Mingyu's earnest face, his dark eyes wide and his pale lips soft and pouting. Beautiful. Like this, eyelashes fluttering against the soft wisps of hair falling over his forehead, his heart open and his soul exposed, Mingyu was stunning. 

Entranced, Seungkwan felt the sudden urge to touch that soft face, so he pulled his hands out from under the larger palms covering them. He saw Mingyu’s expression fall at the retreat, only to warm with a renewed glow when Seungkwan cupped his cheeks gently. His eyes closed as Seungkwan’s thumbs smoothed over dark, silky eyebrows and lingered on his temples.

“Mingyu-hyung?” he whispered, marvelling at the visual in front of him.

“Hmm?” The reply came as a low rumble, content and relaxed. Mingyu didn’t open his eyes, his face serene as he turned into Seungkwan’s caress until the fingers of one hand trailed along that sharp jaw and down his neck.

“Do you--” Seungkwan took a deep breath and scooted closer to the edge of the bed, nerves tingling against Mingyu’s skin. “Do you still want to kiss me?”

Then Mingyu’s eyes opened, searching Seungkwan’s face, hope and fear mixed in their shining reflection as he slowly, wordlessly, nodded his head.

Heart racing, Seungkwan slid his hands into Mingyu’s hair, cradling the back of his head as he brought their lips together in a clumsy, tender kiss. Mingyu sighed against his mouth, and Seungkwan felt him raise up on his knees and shuffle forward until his waist fitted between Seungkwan’s thighs and their chests were only inches apart. His hands found Seungkwan’s hips, then slid up his sides until his long arms wrapped fully around him. Mingyu’s strong embrace enveloped Seungkwan, and Seungkwan sunk into that feeling of safety, of  _ home _ , that always drew him to Mingyu.

Mingyu’s mouth was soft but insistent, his kisses warm but innocent. He didn’t seem to know what he was doing, and neither did Seungkwan. He found himself thinking that, as in so many things in their crazy lives, they would figure it out together.

They were both breathing harshly when Seungkwan pulled back, his eyes drawn to Mingyu’s red and shining lips. He petted Mingyu’s face indulgently, letting out an awkward laugh.

“You never asked, hyung, but I--” His voice wavered as he struggled to be as honest with his emotions as Mingyu had. “I have feelings for you, too. I didn’t--I mean, I’ve never felt this with anyone else before, so I didn’t know what it was." 

Mingyu shook his head seriously. "You don't have to force yourself, just because I said--"

Seungkwan cut him off with a pinch to his cheek. "I'm not! I liked that, kissing you. I  _ wanted  _ to." He felt himself blush, but bravely maintained eye contact. "I want to do it some more, if you do."

Mingyu grinned and started to lean forward, but Seungkwan pressed a hand to his chest. "But get up first, your knees must be killing you." 

Mingyu smiled sheepishly and rose to his feet, still staring into Seungkwan's face besottedly as he towered over him. Seungkwan tried to cover up his embarrassment by nagging. "So dramatic, your poor joints, have a little sense," he mumbled, as Mingyu pulled him up by his hands so they were standing face to face.

"This is Woozi's bed anyway." He smirked. "We should probably use mine." He nodded toward the one closer to the window. Seungkwan felt his heart speed up and his eyes must have widened dramatically because Mingyu chuckled and nudged him with an elbow.

"To sit on!" he exclaimed with an innocent pout. "Just to sit and talk." He started walking backward to the bed, pulling Seungkwan along with both hands. "And cuddle." He sat down and scooted over, making room for Seungkwan, who climbed up next to him. Mingyu pulled him close with an arm around his shoulder. "And maybe kiss some more if you're so eager," he whispered into Seungkwan's ear. 

"Hey!" Seungkwan shoved at him petulantly, suppressing the shiver caused by the breathy voice against his skin as Mingyu giggled. “You’re the one who started this,” he grumbled.

Mingyu leaned into him, faking his own pout. "Well, technically. But  _ you _ kissed  _ me _ ." Then his face softened and he nuzzled his chin fondly against Seungkwan's shoulder. "You're so much braver than I am," he said quietly.

Seungkwan's heart swelled, and he turned in Mingyu's arms to look up at his face. Those devastating puppy dog eyes gazed back at him so tenderly that Seungkwan couldn’t help but reach up and place a quick kiss on Mingyu’s lips.

They settled into each other, snuggled comfortably against the pillows, and Seungkwan was so glad to be back where he belonged. They stayed that way, talking, cuddling, and kissing, until they fell asleep in each other’s arms, warm and happy.

* * *

Later that night, when the rest of the group returned from dinner, Jeonghan entered the hotel room he was sharing with Seungkwan to find it empty. He wandered back out to the hall to see if any of the other members had seen his roommate, only to find Woozi marching toward him, arms piled high with folded pajamas, a selection of toiletries, and his noise-canceling headphones.

“I’m rooming with you tonight,” he grumbled, shoving into Jeonghan’s space and tipping the stack in his arms so that the more precarious items tumbled off the top. Absentmindedly catching a bottle of shampoo and a toothbrush, Jeonghan looked down the hall toward Woozi’s room.

“They finally got their shit together, huh?” he asked knowingly, and Woozi gave a long-suffering sigh.

“Apparently. I got out of there as fast as I could. God knows they’ll be insufferable when they wake up.”

“Wait, they’re just sleeping?”

“Yes! And I refuse to have my rest disturbed by all that cuteness. It’s gross.” He nodded toward the door behind Jeonghan. “Now open up, I need my beauty sleep.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
